Triggered? I've Got No Sympathy for That
But Here's Some Para-Sympathy
Caught in a relentless cycle of stress and anxiety? Living in a world that demands your constant attention and energy?
Good news: Within you lies the power to restore balance and peace: your parasympathetic nervous system. This natural pacifier can mute the cacophony, giving you a sense of serenity and control. Learning to activate this internal teddy bear is not just helpful — it’s vital for quieting the chaos and finding solace amidst life’s storms.
Here’s what you need to know about your nervous system, and how to use it to your benefit.
The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems maintain the body’s internal balance — much like a thermostat controls the temperature in a room. When the room’s temperature drops below the set point, the thermostat kicks on the heating system to increase the temperature. In the same way, your sympathetic nervous system triggers your body’s “fight or flight” response to danger or distress, raising heart rate and energy levels.
On the flip side, if the temperature climbs too high, the thermostat triggers the cooling system to bring it down. Your body’s parasympathetic nervous system acts the same way, initiating “rest and digest” activities that calm the body and lower the heart rate.
Homeowhat?
This constant, ongoing adjustment by the thermostat to keep the room’s temperature steady is what we who study systems call homeostasis [same state]. In the human body, these two nervous systems work in concert to maintain the body’s internal conditions in an optimal state of homeostasis, adapting seamlessly to both external and internal changes.
Back in the day — when lions and tigers and bears, oh my, were a chronic threat to life and limb — that sympathetic nervous system (SNS) was a pretty great thing. But now — when we live in fairly civilized societies and the nearest man-eating tigers are probably in zoos — that SNS has an unfortunate tendency to experience even low-level threats as life-and-death danger … hence panic attacks, chronic anxiety, and easily triggered rage.
Mind Power Rocks
Fortunately, you have the power to manually activate your parasympathetic system (PNS) to counteract the SNS. To jumpstart your PNS and counter feelings of anxiety, stress, or anger, consider these steps:
✅ Surf It: All panic eventually ends…if only because your body has a limited supply of stress hormones. Once they’re launched into your bloodstream, those hormones completely dissipate in about 15 to 20 minutes; they’re mostly used up in about 10 minutes. Pull out a stopwatch and time your upset. Observe it like a scientist. Log the time-to-dissipation in a journal. Try to beat your own times. As you build the skill of observation, you’ll find that the panic or anger can’t even grab hold because you’re too distracted by the act of observation.
✅ Breathe Deep: Take deep, slow breaths while counting. This technique signals your body to calm down, activating the parasympathetic response which helps reduce stress levels.
✅ Meditate: Practice mindfulness and meditation. These activities help focus your mind, reducing the clutter of stressful thoughts and promoting a sense of peace.
✅ Undertake Gentle Physical Activity: Incorporate gentle exercises like yoga, tai chi, or leisurely walks. Physical activity can stimulate the parasympathetic system, aiding in relaxation and stress reduction.
✅ Initiate Positive Social Interactions: Spend time with people who make you feel safe and supported. Positive social engagement can boost feelings of well-being and activate the body’s natural calming mechanisms.
By responding to upset with these practices, you can encourage your body’s parasympathetic system to take the lead, helping you return to a state of calm and balance during stressful times.
Citations
🔎Jänig, W. (2006). The autonomic nervous system: Functional anatomy and visceral afferents. In Integrative Action of the Autonomic Nervous System: Neurobiology of Homeostasis (pp. 11–12). Cambridge University Press.
🔎McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: Central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873–904. https://doi.org/10.1152/physrev.00041.2006
☯︎ You’re reading Relating — The magazine for relational psychology, mental health, emotional resilience, and finding joy. Dr. LauraMaery Gold provides relationship coaching and educational materials at The Relationship Institute (TheRelationship.Institute).
If you’ve found value in this article, please consider showing your support. Your contributions help sustain the continuous effort to provide mental health education, and build emotional resilience. To support Dr. Gold’s work, you can make a donation through PayPal at paypal.me/aft or Venmo at @LauraMaeryGold. Your generosity ensures that this resource continues to grow and remain accessible, helping more people navigate the complexities of managing and strengthening relationships. Every contribution, big or small, makes a significant difference.